To Need And Be Needed

Tonight I spent a few hours visiting a friend in the hospital. He's been suffering severe stomach pains for some time now, and it turned out he needed surgery to remove his gall bladder and relieve his pancreas. Nothing life-threatening, but hey-anytime someone decides to stick a knife and other pointy objects around in your stomach, it ain't fun.

The upside to this is that when I arrived (thinking that I would just visit and cheer him up, not realizing that he had gone into surgery since he had failed to mention that little detail), he was shortly to be released from recovery. Of course, he probably won't remember that I was there, but I will never forget that me and five of his closest friends were on hand to make sure that everything went smoothly and that he was well taken care of. Neither will I forget that when he saw us all hovered around his doorway he groaned and said, "I had a dream...and you were there...and you were there...." (Can you see why we're friends? Anyone who can reference "The Wizard of Oz" as they come out of an anesthesia-induced semi-coma is tops on my list!)

That got me thinking. Should something happen to me, I wonder who will be hovering around my stark hospital room waiting for me to be conscious. Will there be flowers? Board games? Movies? It's not that I think my friends don't care. If I thought that, they would not be friends at all. Our lives get so busy, though, and we often just don't make enough time for one another because of this or that. We forget to nurture our everyday cares and woes and victories, and we wait for the huge, unavoidable events. Relationships with friends, family, lovers-they take time and thought and effort. They are not easy. They shouldn't be easy-if they were, they would not be special.

I want to be special. And I want my friends to know they are special to me, not just when they have half their internal organs removed. If I (and you!) can make time for rehearsals, work, hair appointments, oil changes, prime-time tv, and blogging, can't we make time to call and say, "Hi" or "How are you?" or "Just thinking about you"?

After all, friends are way more important than laundry.

Long Time Coming

I have been absurdly busy over the last month (as I have already lamented...get used to it). I have composed some brilliant, sensitive, and insightful blogs, but they never made it from my brain to the blog. So sad for all of you. Those words and thoughts could have changed the world-alas, it was not meant to be.

What WAS meant to be was my attendance at this year's 20th annual Babin family reunion (the Andoga's are a branch of the Babin's...I'm not sure how, but our family tree is quite spread out now, so I pretty much just take it at face value). I love getting to visit with my cousins, but this year there was a marked difference between me and the girls I have grown up with (we're all about the same age). Missy is married with two kids, Cheryl is married and preparing for kids, and Ashley is engaged and living with her fiancee. They all have good jobs, plans for the future, and are the absolute picture of the all-American family.

Then there's me.

I'm sure by now everyone who knows me can easily enumerate the differences between those responsible tax-paying cousins and myself. What struck me this year was the realization that I will never be like them...and I'M GLAD. I finally see all the adventures the world has to offer to someone like me. I finally see that even if and when I have a family, it will be a totally different kind of family...and the world NEEDS my kind of family. I finally see that preparation and planning are good things (I learned that the hard way!), but the ability to veer off the beaten path and discover new and exciting roads (even if they sometimes turn out rougher and more dangerous) is a most valuable asset. I finally see that being different is not a negative, but a positive. My cousins have chosen the lifestyle best for them. Certainly there are aspects of their life I find appealing and envy-worthy. But I finally see how MY life could and should be cause for jealousy. I finally see how good I have it.

Finally I have found gratitude for my life.

So It Goes...

I always tell myself, "When this show is over, life will FINALLY get back to normal." Which is true, it does. What I forget is how busy, unpredictable, and utterly exhausting "normal" is. This last month, "normal" has consisted of traveling three weekends in a row, with more to come. I've managed to squeeze in a few friendly phone calls, emails and texts between plane rides and car trips, but I know I have been sadly absent (well, sadly on my part, I don't know if anyone actually missed me) from get-togethers, performances, and the general mayhem that my friends tend to create.

On the plus side, I got to spend Father's Day weekend with my six week old nephew, my brother, and my father. I stayed up with Jack for two nights in a row (poor baby, he wasn't pooping, which is one-third of what babies know how to do, so he was really cranky). I wasn't sure if my sister-in-law would trust me alone with him, especially with him not feeling well, but she was more than happy-even grateful!-for the help, which I supplied rather selfishly. It was my first alone time with my nephew, and I was gonna take it however I could get it. For two wonderful nights my Jackie boy cuddled up on my chest and shoulder and slept (albeit for only an hour and a half at a time) while I dozed. I fed him, sang to him, talked to him, rocked him, and memorized every feature of his face and every noise he made. It was torture leaving him, and I cannot wait until this weekend when he comes to visit us in Texas!!!

The following week I went to Napa Valley with my parents. It was pure bliss. Granted, the air was choked with smoke from all the wildfires, but it was so peaceful...so quiet. I spent the week tasting wine, making friends everywhere I went, eating constantly, and doing it more or less alone. Of course my parents were with me just about everywhere I went, but they left me to my own devices, allowing me to enjoy my first post-Ben, post-depression vacation on my own. And I enjoyed it. Pictures and more details to follow...I promise!

Finally, this weekend I went to San Antonio to watch my mom compete in a dance competition with her adult tap and jazz class. We spent a fantastic girls' weekend shopping at the outlets in San Marcos, visiting Fredericksburg, watching the dance competition, and wandering the Riverwalk. This weekend my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew are coming to stay, along with my Grandmother from PA, and my aunt and uncle and three kids from IL. Then I'm going to Pittsburgh for a family reunion. You know, I think I'm gonna need a vacation from all this vacation!

So that is my excuse for lack of blogging...pictures and thoughts on my travels will follow as soon as I have rested...and caught up with my friends for real, and not just through blogging. After all, I am still a people person, not a virtual one :)