Top Ten Things Other Drivers Do That Result In Me Flipping The Bird, Screaming Obscenities, and Exhibit Other Classic Signs of Road Rage:
(I realize that by posting this I am indeed a hypocrite, but hey, when I do it it's not to me so I don't care as much. And I really do try to avoid these particular annoyances. And I would love to hear any of yours that I've excluded. It could be a whole other blog.)
10. Get in the turn only/exit only lane to pass traffic that has slowed to a stop, then fail to exit or turn but instead come to a screeching halt to re-enter said traffic.
9. Speed up to pass me on the highway, then get back in my lane and go slower than I am.
8. Talk on your phone, TEXT (yes, this includes "only reading" your emails or text messages), put on your makeup, eat a four course meal, or otherwise engage your hands and brain while they are supposed to be driving.
7. Enter the turning lane to make a left hand turn but swerve sharply to the right into MY lane as I pass you because obviously turning left involves first turning right.
6. Drive a Hummer, Escalade, 18-wheeler, or a monster truck.
5. Drive straight down the middle in an apartment parking lot. Then give me a dirty look when I, driving on the right side of the 2 WAY PARKING LOT LANE, attempt to pass you going the opposite direction..
4. Ignore the tollway signs that indicate quite clearly which lanes are Tolltag only and enter that Tolltag only lane without even knowing what a Tolltag is. Then come to a complete stop and REVERSE on the HIGHWAY to get into the correct lane.
*Side note: This is even more fun now that the Tollways are all electronic tolling and they don't accept cash, so you can go in ANY lane and they'll just bill you. Which means now you same people are coming to a complete stop in the tollbooth to read the sign that says "Do not stop, Keep moving. We will bill you."
3. Drive your motorcycle between lanes in traffic at (minimum) 90 mph.
2. Stop to see what happened at an accident site. On the other side of the road.
1. Fail to check your blind spot OR turn on your blinker before attempting to enter my lane, then react to my honking horn with yelling, horn honking, fist pumping, and absolutely nothing resembling an apology on your face.
That's all. Thank you for listening. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
