Makeovers and Technology

Just a quick note to let ya'll know that I'm trying to figure out how to make this page more...me. It is a complicated procedure, since I don't really speak HTML or XML or any other languages that leave vowels out completely. This pretty little page will be undergoing some major transformations over the next few weeks as I figure all this out, so bear with me and enjoy the many views. If you have any tips, I'm always open to suggestions, especially if they lead to free (that means no $$$, cuz hello, I'm broke) solutions. Live and learn, friends, live and learn!

So It Goes

This weekend marked the end of The Full Monty, and I ended up feeling much more emotional about it than I expected. Ending a show is always hard-every experience is special, unique, and (usually) hard to let go of. You can never recreate the chemistry that sparks when the right people do the right show together. As you grow in life you bring different things to the table and the recipe changes. Having been in theatre so long now, I rarely get upset about a show closing. I have learned that all good things must, and should, come to an end.

This is the second time time, however, that I have done Monty, and I entered with some hesitation. The first time was a truly life-altering experience...I met some incredible people, worked with an amazing director, and for the first time in my life stepped out of my little ingenue comfort zone to portray two very different characters, both vocally and as an actress. I also fell head over heels in love with every one of the six "Montys". I didn't want to mar the memory of my first Monty experience by doing the show again and possibly have it turn out to be less than ideal.

I don't know if this show just attracts the right people, if the material galvanizes the group to become better than they are, if God was looking out for me and granting me a wish, or if I just got lucky. I'd like to think it was all the above. Once again I fell into a group of people who happened to be exactly what I needed. Performing our final show wasn't so emotional because I felt like I was saying goodbye. It was emotional because I was so full of gratitude and love for the old friends who became closer to me and to the new friends I never knew I needed so much. God works in mysterious ways...who knew He wanted to teach me through six naked men? So to each of my "Montys" I say thank you, for showing me that bravery and beauty comes in all different packages. To my working class women friends, I say thank you for reminding me that I am not alone...and that it's not all about me. And to myself, I say congratulations for allowing yourself to have this experience and love it for what it is itself, and not for what is was before. And thank God for knowing and loving me so well.

Chapter Next

Less than 24 hours have gone by since I created this new space for myself, and already friends are finding me, reading me, enjoying me, and inviting me into their blogging worlds. It feels good to know there are people out there who care what you think and do and who want to share their innermost thoughts with you as well. I occassionally blog on MySpace and find great joy and comfort in it, and I have already begun to think of this little page as a sanctuary. I am terrible at expressing many things out loud-appreciation, love, the need for help-but words just seem to flow when I sit in front of a keyboard. The written language is a powerful thing that our generation is ignoring and forgoing in favor of a more immediate gratification. Letter writing is a thing of the past, emails are reduced to acronymns, and books are available on cd-or better yet, just rent the movie. Thank goodness for spaces like blogspot, where in some form the written word is reborn and a little humanity is infused to that intangible world wide web.

Reading my friends' blogs is like reading their diaries...they share hopes, dreams, triumphs, sorrows, trivia, tragedies, and so much more. Fifteen minutes of glancing through my friend Tessa's blog gave me a much better idea of what her life and family are like than a year of random emails and comments on MySpace. Every morning now I read my friend Lauren's blog-I know that no matter what, there will be something to make me grateful for waking up and one more reason to love her. Alicia and Chris are chronicling their first attempt at parenthood...and not only am I enjoying it, but Hannah will love reliving those first few months of her life when she is old enough to read and understand.

Perhaps this is yet another attempt for an overdramatic, attention-seeking personality to shout "Here I am, world, look at me!". I don't think it is...I hope to offer my friends a glimpse into the warped workings of my mind. I hope to help others learn from my failures and successes. I hope to remind myself of what I love and am grateful for. I hope to express more clearly my desires, needs, and gratitudes. I hope to communicate. I hope to inspire. In short, I hope.

In the Beginning...

Well, friends, I have entered the digital age in a big way. Last year I gave in to the MySpace wave...and became totally addicted. The past few months I've continued to feed that addiction by purchasing a new laptop that I can barely turn on, a BlackJack PDA (Samsung's version of the Blackberry) that I can barely answer calls on, and I've subscribed to nearly every online service available from Shutterfly to this, my brand new blog.

I know this isn't much as far as blogs go, but seeing as how I've emailed everyone I know to guide them to this site, I thought I should have a welcome note (WELCOME!) and a series of excuses as to my newest self-indulgence. Much much more will follow (and if you truly know me, then you know that's an understatement!), but for now I'll close by saying...

ummm, how does this thing work again????