Lucky Me

I love being a part of something bigger, greater, and infinitely more important than just myself alone. I just started rehearsals for a remount of a show I did last year, and OH MY GOD it is just amazing to be back in the theatre with familiar people. I don't know how I got so lucky to be paired up with Philip, Stephen and Courtney, but thank God for Alan Hanna who somehow knew our chemistry would be not just ideal but outright HYSTERICAL. We have not gotten through a single rehearsal without completely cracking each other up. Not only that, we have become more supportive of each other, which has given us the safe place to explore each character even further. Theatre people will tell you-this kind of enjoyable camaraderie is all too rare, and those of us who get to experience it never want it to end.

This is particularly exciting for me for a couple of reasons. First, this show holds a special place in my heart because it helped get me up out of the blues and back into a real life (one that included smiles, laughter, and friends-old and new). Second, I came out of it with several new and indespensable friends. Philip in particular has become one of the best and most loyal friends I could ever ask for (which is funny, because we DID NOT get along at all for the first month or so...which is probably a blog in itself). Third, these people think I'm funny and a pretty good singer/actress. I mean, I think I'm pretty good, too, but I also know when I suck and how hard I've had to work to get to this point. On top of that, I'm never really sure if I'm funny...I tend to think people are laughing AT me, not WITH me (which is a fine but important point in comedy...and life). But NOOO, they think I'm actually FUNNY as in ha ha ha you have a good sense of humor and timing. So hey-kudos to me!

Finally, this is the first time I've really conciously let myself be bare and exposed (emotionally) on stage. The first time around my emotions were right on the surface anyway, so it just kinda happened. This time I'm in a better place in my life, a little more balanced and way more in tune with myself. What all this means in actor-speak is that I actually have to access those emotional highs and lows rather than just let them happen because I'm already an emotional wreck. It's a little scary to throw out a gesture or voice that you think is funny or dramatic and know that it could just flop and fail quicker than the blink of an eye. Which has happened. And guess what? The world didn't end, I didn't get replaced in the show, and no one judged me. Turns out they were too worried about what they were doing to notice that I looked stupid. They only noticed when I actually made them laugh or cry. Hmmm, maybe there's a good lesson in that....